If this be my cross

If this be my cross
I bear it with hesitant gladness
But is it a cross
Or my own subtle madness
Let me press into you 
And see if this sadness remains 
Let Adoration be mine
Come crush my lonely pains

Pains of illogical depression 
Oh give me Daily Mass 
Awaken discipline in me 
Let me not drive past
Your house my King 
With a foolish fleeting choice 
Let me enter in 
And there do raise my voice 

My poems get shorter 
The lower I feel 
But fewer words 
Can help others heal 
Not much to say 
Just fall down 
Into unfailing love
O God let me drown

Let the darkness comfort me
Wrap it's pain around me
If my God it's your will 
That others walk free 
Make me a martyr 
Though I'd rather my blood be shed
Than to sit in sorrow 
As my soul is slowly bled